Tuesday, October 27, 2015

At The End of the End

Paul McCartney had a song a few years back called The End of the End.  It was about what he'd like people to do when he dies.  Sounds a bit pretentious if you're not a fan, which I am, so I liked it.  He said he'd like folks to go to the park and have a picnic and listen to his old songs.  I thought that was cool.  Just remember me.

Katie's boyfriend (did I just write that?!?) had to say goodbye to his dad this week.  He died a week ago and they had a service for him yesterday.  I hate it for him.  He's a good kid.  Just the weekend before he came down to stay a few days with Katie while they were on fall break.  Peas in a pod.  Peas and carrots.

It's brought back some memories for me of my dad dying.  Matthew is just a year or two older than I was when Daddy died.  I looked through my old journals trying to find stuff I'd written back then.  Disappointed at what I found.  Most of what I wrote was about a girl who'd dumped me around the same time he died.  I remember writing a couple of songs and I can't find those either.  One of them I think I can remember.

I think A LOT about death.  I thought about it before Daddy died, certainly in the days and weeks that followed; but I've been thinking about it all my life.  I remember reading Brian Piccolo's book when i was in middle school and having panic attacks about dying of cancer.

Now that I'm middle aged I don't think about death as robbing me of something.  I don't want to die (most of the time;) but there are times when I pray for Jesus to come back.  Sometimes life is harder than I want to deal with, more painful and I just think "Enough already, let's go."

Most of the time, though I'm happy to keep on living in the free world.  There's lots I want to do still.