Paul McCartney had a song a few years back called The End of the End. It was about what he'd like people to do when he dies. Sounds a bit pretentious if you're not a fan, which I am, but I liked it. He said he'd like folks to go to the park and have a picnic and listen to his old songs. I thought that was cool. Just remember me.
Katie's boyfriend (did I just write that?!?) had to say goodbye to his dad this week. He died a week ago and they had a service for him yesterday. I hate it for him. He's a good kid. Just the weekend before he came down to stay a few days with Katie while they were on fall break. Peas in a pod. Peas and carrots.
It's brought back some memories for me of my dad dying. Matthew is just a year or two older than I was when Daddy died. I looked through my old journals trying to find stuff I'd written back then. Disappointed at what I found. Most of what I wrote was about a girl who'd dumped me around the same time he died. I remember writing a couple of songs and I can't find those either. One of them I think I can remember.
I think A LOT about death. I thought about it before Daddy died, certainly in the days and weeks that followed; but I've been thinking about it all my life. I remember reading Brian Piccolo's book when i was in middle school and having panic attacks about dying of cancer.
Now that I'm middle aged I don't think about death as robbing me of something. I don't want to die (most of the time;) but there are times when I pray for Jesus to come back. Sometimes life is harder than I want to deal with, more painful and I just think "Enough already, let's go."
Most of the time, though I'm happy to keep on living in the free world. There's lots I want to do still.